I’ve come to realize that I’ve been confusing attention with importance.
Deep down, I want people to remember me, appreciate me, think well of me, and occasionally mention me when I’m not around. I want to feel that I occupy a meaningful little corner of their world.
And there’s nothing wrong with wanting that.
The problem begins when I mistake the amount of attention I receive for the measure of my worth.
It isn’t.
Not Everyone Expresses Appreciation the Same Way
I’m naturally expressive. When I appreciate someone, I tell them. I compliment people to their faces, praise them behind their backs, and freely share the good things I see in others.
I used to find it difficult to understand people who didn’t do the same.
But life has taught me that not everyone expresses appreciation through words. Some people rarely compliment others, speak little about their admiration, or simply aren’t the type to say lovely things out loud.
Their silence doesn’t necessarily mean indifference. They may think highly of me without ever telling me so.
Someone can respect me without praising me, appreciate me without mentioning me, and care about me without constantly reminding me of it.
I’ve learned that I cannot measure other people’s feelings using my own way of expressing them.
We All Have Our Own Little Universes
When I’m busy working, reading, watching dramas, shopping, or simply enjoying my own life, I’m not thinking about everyone around me. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped appreciating them.
Other people are the same.
They have their own worries, responsibilities, relationships, and interests. Even the people who love us most cannot keep us in their thoughts every hour of the day.
We can matter to someone without being on their mind all the time.
A friend who doesn’t text today hasn’t necessarily forgotten me. Someone who doesn’t mention me in a conversation isn’t necessarily indifferent to my existence. And someone who has many people they love doesn’t have to love me any less.
Sometimes, people are simply busy living.
And honestly, so am I.
My Worth Is Not Up for a Popularity Contest
Somewhere along the way, I began treating positive attention as proof of my value.
If people noticed me, I felt important. If they praised me, I felt appreciated. If they didn’t, I wondered whether something was wrong with me.
But being less visible in someone’s world doesn’t make me less valuable.
I could become prettier, smarter, more successful, and more interesting, and I still wouldn’t become everyone’s favorite person. Some people will admire me. Some won’t. Some may misunderstand me, and others simply won’t connect with me.
That’s life. Not everyone has to like me, and not every opinion is an accurate reflection of who I am.
I don’t need to turn myself into someone universally admired just to feel worthy of existing.
I can be appreciated without being praised, loved without being someone’s only priority, and valuable without being noticed.
Other people have their own lives to live. So do I.
Perhaps growing up means finally making peace with that.
Not everyone has to think about me. Not everyone has to talk about me. Not every silence needs an explanation.
My worth doesn’t shrink when someone else’s attention moves elsewhere.
Leave a Reply