I’m usually not the kind of person who blames other people for my failures. I don’t blame fate for my weaknesses, my background for my shortcomings, or the universe for every little thing that goes wrong. I’m pretty good at taking responsibility for my own life.
But lately, in my sad girl era, I’ve rediscovered something delightful.
Sometimes, it’s fun to feel sorry for yourself.
Not in a bitter, resentful, I hate everyone and everything is everyone else’s fault kind of way. Just a little, harmless, Aw, poor me.
Take a job interview, for example. You don’t get the job, and suddenly, you’re dissecting yourself into 700 different pieces. Maybe your CV wasn’t good enough. Maybe you lacked experience. Maybe you answered a question stupidly. Maybe you should have done everything differently.
Girl, the job market is tough enough. Do we really need to make this a personal investigation, too?
Sometimes, you can just shed a few tears and blame the economy. Let the job market take the fall for once.
I think we’re so accustomed to treating ourselves like ongoing improvement projects that we forget we can simply feel bad about things. We’re expected to reflect, grow, and turn every disappointment into a valuable life lesson. As if nothing is allowed to hurt unless we can extract some personal development from it.
But sometimes, you just want someone to say, Yeah, girl. That sucks.
And if nobody is going to validate your suffering, you can do it yourself.
Maybe someone else got the opportunity. Maybe your crush doesn’t like you back. Maybe life just hasn’t been particularly generous with you.
Maybe, under slightly different circumstances, you could have done more, achieved more, or become someone entirely different.
Who knows?
I think there’s something strangely comforting about entertaining these possibilities without immediately turning them into a list of personal shortcomings. You don’t have to convince yourself that everything happens for a reason, that rejection is redirection, or that every setback is secretly a blessing in disguise.
Sometimes, the cards just weren’t in your favor.
So go ahead. Have your ice cream. Listen to your sad songs. Call your best friend and complain about how unfair life is. Be a little dramatic. Romanticize your misfortunes.
You don’t always have to be your own life coach. Sometimes, you can just be the girl who needs a hug. 🙂
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